Sage,

I think everyone with the most eloquent words has told you be kind and compassionate to yourself first, and the most kind and compassionate thing you can do for H right now is bow out. Since all of that's been covered, I'm taking off my enlightened, wise Wayfarer hat and putting on my funny and p!ssed off girl hat.

#1 rule of being an American, we don't negotiate with terrorists. Say it with me Sage, WE DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS. H is an emotional terrorist. He will do everything in his power to make you as visibly miserable as he feels inside. Every chance he gets to blow this process up he will take it. With or without a lawyer. But with a lawyer you have an officer of the court taking note of every insane moment in time, and a person on your side whom H can't torture. An L couldn't care less about whatever non-sense H or H's hypothetical L could throw at them. It is literally their job to deal with that hot mess for you.

Go grey rock. Go as dark as you can with out tipping the scales. Stop trying to do this amicably with H. It hasn't been amicable. It's been you doing the heavy lifting. You know this. Hire some one to do the heavy lifting. Get a L. Get a L ASAP.

I say this with the utmost love and all of my short Latinx energy: If I could call a cousin to sort H out for you or slash a tire or 3 myself I would (jokes only folks I promise), but since this is the best I can do, please, take in what every one is saying, take a few deep breaths and pull the trigger on a lawyer. Do this for you. You deserve the peace it will bring.

PS Sorry to hijack your thread but this needs to be addressed:
Originally Posted by wooba
Are you a country chick? Either way, I’d recommend listening to the Chick’s “gaslighter” album. It was a great outlet for me to sing along. Lol.

This is how I know you you're my people wink Rumours, Lemonade and Gaslighter for DDAAAYYYSSS!