Bro, you have the most Kantian take on the human experience. I mean to each his own, but real live people don't exist in a binary vacuum. No one is an objectively good or bad person, a moral or amoral person. People can simultaneously be horrible and wonderful to people in their lives, because people are ridiculously good at compartmentalizing, they are also particularly apt at hurting the people they love the most. And even a person who lived their life thoroughly selfishly can grow and change. As can a person who lived selflessly, they can change for the worse. Or just putting this out there because we see this a lot with LBHs, what about people who do really nice things for the payout, not because they are actually nice? Being a crappy spouse doesn't some how negate everything else some one is. All I wanted to say was that each of us needs to find the balance in being true to ourselves and being a friend when confronted in situations like this. Maybe watch The Good Place. They reference Kantian theory a little too much for my taste but it's an exceptional sitcom about this exact thing.
