A year on and standing 2

[ToSmile]

Yeah the part with regards to the house, I understand things may escalate if I chase them away but if she gonna tune up the heat then let that be the trigger for me to proceed.

I did ask her if she ever thought how I would feel about it when she invited that person over? She mentioned no and claimed that friend was not in the picture. I reminded to her if she had forgotten the role of this friend whom was trying to matchmake? Then I told her if it was unintentional, I let it slide this time round but this is my boundary and do not cross it.

Yes I do note that there is a potential that her change would be permanent. I also asked myself if I am ready to move on with another person after I close this chapter? For a while, I think the answer to myself is always no. Because I kinda feel sick about it and could not quite bring myself to go through everything again. I'm pretty happy to have my kids already and I think I am good to be on my own.

I also monitor my kids happiness very closely. The arrangement will only be as above as long as my kids are happy in current environment and does not affect them. I also arranged counselling for them and check in time to time with the counsellors and my helper for third party feedback of their emotional well being.

So far I know, the feedback kind of consistent. From counsellors, the siblings are very close with each other, me and their grandparents. Mum came last. With helper, the elder one always complaint that when mum is around, she always task him around and he does not like her around. They felt that when she was there, they are always being reprimanded for anything.

She has a habit of tasking them something and just leaving it to them without walking them through, knowing it's disaster to happen. Thereafter when they screw it up, then she started reprimanding them. And when talking to her about it, her defense always is this was how her mum taught her last time. But she never seem to excel in any of those skills anyway even though she always claimed this was how she's taught and its the right way. Ie: Just passing the knife to the kids and asking them to peel potato skins without demo. I warned they would cut themselves. She mentioned it's ok. Ended up cutting themselves. Asking them to cut chili with bare hands. I told her to let them remove the spiciness on their hand by rubbing their hands with orange or lemon skin thereafter or they will rubbed their eyes and get hurt by it. Which came true. And every time my "predictions" come true, it does not sit well with her. But most of such I feel is just common sense and the patience to walk the kids through if you want to teach them a skill. Not the "I was taught this way too".


But saying that, I know that the kids love her still and does yearn for whom she had been. Thus I just encourage them by saying we love them just in different ways. Hopefully she understand that the kids are growing up fast and they are registering what's happening. You can no longer brush them off events by offering a lollipop or taking them to ice cream treat. Such memories stay with them.

At least for the next few years, when the kids are more grown up and able to fend themselves, then I will be more comfortable of leaving them with her alone. Unlike for now to the point when she mentioned she will take care of the kids breakfast, but when they woke up and told her they are hungry she ask them to just go drink some water while she sleep away.