With regards her asking the friend over, My boundaries were I would be chasing them away if she is to come again as I thought that this is my house and would not entertain unwelcomed visitors. The thoughts of me leaving when the friend is here seems like I am giving way to her?
Yes indeed. The conversations are all useless and getting to nowhere. Thus I ended them and told her I am tired and would want to turn in. I realized that recently whenever she initiated these talks, it's all going no where and end up at the same point again. The observation of her being lazy in making the Divorce happen is right. She had been talking about this matter and I do not see what's the difficulty of her instructing her lawyer to just send the filing to my lawyer? Even my domestic helper told me that She's all full of talk but can't materialize anything.
And now her claims is like I am trying to "take the children away from her" because I don't agree to release them for overnight with her in justification of the non-action? I told her before, if there are any disagreement, we can just address it in the courts or what. I don't want to be similar to a friend of mine whom WAW screwed him up, got him kicked out of the matrimonial house, denied him access and wiped his bank account dry because he was not represented and too trusting to just sign the documents presented to him.
I agree she needs therapy. Helper also told me that my wife was sighing the night away not sleeping after the conversation. And like said, I would not agree to either of her options because it's best of both world for her. It's like she wants the divorce, but yet expect things to be in the manner she hope to be. Like remaining as good friends? I told her I am your husband. Now you want me to be your good friend? I would not even feel like seeing you anymore unnecessarily for goodness sake.
I come to realization that very likely if Divorce is to happen, I will be the person to push through. Actually a timeline I had set internally for myself, if things stay status quo and she does not try to be funny or treat me without respect would be another 3 years.
Why so? I link this to the 2-5 years estimated out of the fog timeline for MLC, if she also happens to have it. Another note is that by then, the kids will be bigger and much able to fend for themselves if she goes ape [censored] on them. They are my primary concern because yesterday morning while sending them to school, I had a casual conversation with them asking how they would feel if me and my wife separate but we still be around for them? They both replied sadly that they do not want that to happen with the younger one at the verge of tears. Thus that is the most anchoring factor for me. I do know that the argument is also that we have to let them go through this and it may be better for them. However every as and when I see their reaction like this I just thought to hold on a bit more if things would be better as long as she does not cross my line.
Thus I try to live as I am already divorced and my weekends is always about spending time with the kids and bringing them out myself while she goes on with her life. Actually things are going fine until once in a while she will come with this "Lets talk about it, Lets have a closure". Geez.
M:38 W:38 T:14 M: 12 S:9 S:6 BD: 07/18 W Moved out: 5/19 W Moved in: 7/19 D draft received: 12/19
