kml is correct, there is quite a pull from the emotional vortex.
You hit the nail square on the head. This is a fight!
But: Who is the opponent? How does one win?
We are our own opponent. This is a battle within ourselves. Yes, our spouse and situation influences our emotions; yet we are not weaponless against the onslaught. We use our most strongest and valuable weapons - our mental assertiveness. Our sword and shield.
With our sharp keen sword of logic and reason we cleave from our spouse’s emotions and actions. We see and understand their driven need to behave in such an irrational manner, and realize that which we truly and only can control - ourselves.
Our bright polished shield of mental strength protects us and deflects those hurtful words and blameful projections. The broad armour of our rational reasoned mind understands that this is about the person in crisis, and their blame is them running from facing their pain.
Together, sword and shield, our mental assertiveness serves us and allows us to find peace and detachment.
To battle, one must realize their true opponent. And we win this fight in the oddest of ways, when we actually stop attacking head on. In effect, to stop fighting, and start accepting. Brute force begets more force. Instead, our sword is incredible sharp and much better utilized with subtle precision. Wildly swinging only tires us out. Logically and rationally cutting that which needs cutting works towards one’s goals. That, not only conserves one’s strength, it minimizes damage. Detachment, it is a rather elegant and sideways strategy.
The fight is with our emotional responses and our own reinforcements to the actual and perceived triggers.
This is the good fight. No doubt about it!
Of course, the best fights to fight are those that shift and alter us within.
I mentioned before how we are all prisoner and jailer in our prisons of fear. Within us we hold the keys to our own freedom, and that is most definitely worth fighting for.
Stay strong. You got this.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
