Or is it that men want a strong woman, but once they have one, they resent the strength and try to pull you down to their level? I don't know, but I know I need to do some work around this area and about how I feed or react to these sort of issues. My XH also grew to hate my strength. I thought my current H was a strong person when we first met, but time showed me that he isn't. Our courtship was quick, so by the time I saw these things, I was already living with him and fully committed to him. I want to be sure I find a true partner and equal in my next relationship. So this is an area I need to focus on. As my mom didn't remarry for a long time, I did not grow up a father figure until my early teens (my bio dad wasn't around). Maybe that has affected the choices I've made in my life on men? l
I truly could've written this about my first MR. My grandfather was a great father, husband, provider, and man. He was a great one, but lack of a father did impact me. Regardless of how hard my grandfather did and does love me, because I at 37, the eldest of all the grandchildren, am still his princess. The rejection of a father who couldn't be bothered to so much as a cut a check to my mom or take off after I was born it a huge hurdle to overcome. Then the series of my mother's mistakes trying to fill that position did not help my picker one bit. It's taken YYYEEEAAARRRSS of therapy to dig through that.
My exH and I moved way too swiftly and I because we were so young I flat out ignored red flags.
As far as men go. You have a pretty good sampling of guys here who understand what it is to be with a strong woman, and have an appreciation for it. But I can say weak men in particular are drawn to strong women, they fix things, and get sh!t done. Thus eliminating their need to. It's all rainbow and roses to them until we get sick of carrying the burden of being the only adult in the relationship. Then we're controlling, and never happy, and they're never enough. You know because you asked them to clean up after themselves, or take care of their kids, or heaven forbid ask to be a priority in their lives. They then will follow you up with a weak willed women who lets them do what they want, when they want, and allows them to be the superhero when all they are offering is the absolute bare minimum.
Strong men also love a strong women, and in all the right ways. They love to be challenged. They love that they don't have to carry the burden of the relationship or the household. They love the decisiveness, and the fiery attitude even if that part isn't always their favorite. They love a woman who speaks her mind. Says what she wants and needs. And most of all how a strong woman loves. Because we truly love with ever fiber of our being.
Your H wants a doormat who will do everything for him with out complaint. You aren't that person. And he can't fool you about who he really is any more.
