Ok maybe it's that I'm close in age to you guys. Maybe it's because I was a WW in my first MR. Maybe it's because I haven't read you're whole sitch, but I'm sorry your W sounds certifiable. Like legitimately in need of a Dx and some therapy and Rx. What is the point of her being in the house with you 6 months ago, now, or post divorce? The access to the kids thing is BS. I don't buy it for a second.
I stuck it in the house with my exH for a long time sleeping in separate bedrooms because I legitimately couldn't afford to leave, and he went out of his way to make sure I couldn't. But I also didn't spend my years there repeatedly telling him I was going to leave and then just never did. I truly thought until the very last year I was there that things would turn around that he'd finally agree to counseling or make an effort on his own, that my changes would some how jog him into a desire to follow suit. And I was the WW, whom he begged to come back.
With my current H it was a money thing too. Honestly I think if I had relinquished control of my half of the funds or hadn't been paying attention to our accounts I'm sure he would've tapped us out to try to move on with his life. Thankfully I learned my lesson with the first H and the universe had other plans. The flip side of that was 5 months into his crap I wanted him out just as much if not more than he wanted out. I don't understand how you're so far along here and haven't filed, with a motion over the dwelling to get her out. Not saying you need to be me, but most people here know I was desperate to keep my home in one piece, but I had papers drawn up the day after he said he wanted a D and to move out. I never had them served, but I was ready.
The kids are young, man. The sooner you can rip this bandaid off the better it is for everyone especially them. D18 when she was little asked me to leave her dad often. Even now she says she wishes I would've gotten us out sooner.
Why are you doing this? Why are you hanging on? Why are you just remaining stagnant on this?
I get that not every LBS is ingrained with the same childhood trauma I am so my instinct for self preservation is much more prevalent than others, but seriously, at no point here have you thought maybe it's best for me and the kids if I just do this and save us from all the chaos and turmoil W is putting us through?
