Trying to heal from WW - part 2

[Ace_32]

Hey SteveLW and R2C thanks for your responses.

Steve that excuse is shocking as you say it is just an easy excuse for her to get out, you can make time for people if you care about them. Good on you for not going back to the bottle to cope and for ignoring her when she tried. Haha yes, it used to drive me crazy all the selfies she wanted to take. Think it has to do with the younger generations growing up with the social media and there self image is so tied up in it. I guess i can see how age gap can be an issue at any stage of life, there will always be slightly different perspectives on things and the time we grew up in and life experiences will be different.

Do understand also what you are saying, when i was younger there were a few girls that were crazy about me and i wasnt attracted to them so i didnt pursue them (i would actually hook up with their friends which was seriously uncool of me). I do wonder sometimes how things could have been if i wasn't so shallow and took a chance with one of them but thats irrelevant now.

The fog is definitely strong the 1st few months after BD and i only focused on the good for a long time, as more time passes i start remembering more of the bad and especially who she is now isnt the person i knew and married. She changed alot ver the last few years, so it wasnt like it was a sudden change but i was probably just being ignorant.

R2C i tend to be quite logical and rational most of the time but learning to control emotional responses isnt something i practised much so it is quite new to me. I agree that i know when i react on emotions that im not making the right choices or behaving the way i should, learning as i go.

I was quite detached from my emotions during the call and i did validate her but also made some mistakes that i realised later on. I couldnt understand why she was sad when this was her choice, i did listen and try validate a lot more than i would have in the past.

Been over a month again now with NC, just carrying on with my life. Starting to want to focus on my career now, so looking for the next step to take in that regard. Set up a punching bag on the weekend and i have been doing more weights so going alright on the exercise side of things. Not much else is different, focusing on church and spirituality and also reading more the last few weeks. Taking it a day at a time.