Still taking it a day at a time (2)

[may22]

Thanks, LH. I know. Nothing in life is guaranteed, really. This is the hard lesson we are all learning, I think.

I guess I'm less concerned at the moment with grasping this new reality-- it is truth. I got it. I'm more thinking about how I heal, how I let go of the past and of fear, how I live my life and love again freely even with this knowledge in my back pocket. I refuse to let my H's choices take that away from me. That's what I'm working through at the moment. His choices are on him. My choices, and my own healing, are my responsibility and that is squarely where I'm focused at the moment.

Also, I'm not defending my friend or her decisions. I don't agree with them at all. I actually met up with her wondering if the story was going to be the other way around, that her H cheated on her and that was why they were Ding... but I was very wrong. I just said it to note that it was a wake up call for me in a way, because in my mind I have demonized all WASs and here's one who isn't a horrible person. She's a friend. Just like my H isn't a horrible person. They've both done very $hitty things to the people they love. Are they irredeemable? Do I ditch my friend because she's done this? Or tbh it seems like she is in need of a friend right now, a non judgmental one.... anyway. Just sharing these things that have come up for me recently.

M