Glad to see H’s visit started out nicely. How long is he planning on staying?
Indifference, that feeling of nothing, is a weird place. Detachment uncoupled your emotional responses from H’s emotions and actions. Indifference attenuates your emotions regarding H; attenuates, lessens, not erased. In that void of the somewhat numbness toward H, other feelings will look larger than they really are. Something to consider while walking your path. This flows directly into finding, fixing, and following our beliefs and values.
Next Saturday’s lunch invitation. You got an invitation, did H as well? Either way, gently, maybe during lunch, tell him you are going. You are living/visiting under the same roof. Approach it like he is going to say yes. As if that is how it will be. Most times we can lead - gently - by just approaching things clearly without the vagueness. Don’t worry, if H says he is not going, change gears and continue going forward.
Indifference. There is no need to walk on eggshells. He is there, talk to him face to face. A text message - which has valid uses especially when not immediately in person - while in the same household presents one of two different views. First is that you are timid and do not want to upset him or rock the boat. The second view, has such a message looking passive aggressive, like something a teenager would do; text from the living room so they don’t have to talk to you.
Neither of those is what you want to portrait. And neither is the actual case. So talk to him. If he doesn’t like it, fine go on the visit without knowing what he is doing. Remember, H wanted to stay at the house during his visit. And he is currently being pleasant. No need to borrow trouble.
The divorce discussion is along the same lines. H chose to visit under the same roof; the ideal place and time to discuss certain items. You want to proceed with obtaining financial security and protection, from last we discussed. Unless your view has changed, proceed.
Of course, not at the same time as the visiting discussion; H and pressure do not mix. Lol. These two items are needed discussions and not relationship talks. Keep emotions out of it. Find your indifference and be mostly business-like. And one can be compassionate and kind, while getting business done.
I’m sure you will do fine.
And glad to see you so happy!
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
