You're hurt at being rejected, and you maybe haven't worked through that pain? Being an A-hole is not beneficial to reconciliation, settling, co-parenting, or a happy life.
Originally Posted by Scott
She has her pain from her past and I have mine, and we've shared those stories. I was never really able to share my whole self with my ex; there were parts of me that she didn't seem to want to know or understand, and when I would share those parts, the most vulnerable parts she would hurt me with them or accuse me of manipulation.This new woman seems to accept those parts
See why Ginger says, "trauma bond"? If I go on a first, second, third date with someone and ex-pain becomes a significant conversational topic, I'm very likely skee-daddling for the next match. Now, MsOneMonth (who I dated a year ago too soon during a break with my ex) probed this area on maybe our 3rd date (unsuccessfully) to see if I had baggage. MsMyPeaks(28F) asked if I get along with my ex-wife on our 2-hour "not-a-date". I'm like, "Yeah, it was 10yrs ago, we co-parent pretty well." I'm not "hiding" anything, it's not a strategic answer, I'm not "holding back", I'm just 98% over whatever wrongs happened.
It would be hypocritical not to acknowledge I've done the same thing--so did Fireman and Wolfman. Rebounds feel good. There are studies showing they can help you get over your ex. I guess the yellow flags here are: (1) You're taking your rebound seriously without first figuring out what's important in your next partner and how to avoid past mistakes, and (2) After this fizzles, as rebounds tend to, you may want R again and this makes that less likely. Will it have been worth it?
