WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont8.)

[SteveLW]

ScottB, here is the problem:

- Are you interested in New Woman because it appears over with STBXW?

- Or are you over STBXW because of your new interest in New Woman?

This is why I highly highly highly suggest NOT dating until after you have worked through the emotional baggage with an Ex. You will NEVER be able to truthfully answer the two questions above because truth be told you don't even know! You can convince yourself that the answer is yes to question #1.....but you will never really know because of the cloud of question #2!

So here is what happens: You struggle letting go of STBXW. Then New Woman comes along and suddenly you are over your STBXW and ready to move on. Things move quickly. You end up rushing into a new R, get married. A few years go by and suddenly the same issues that were present in your first MR begin to creep into the second MR.

This is a common tale. It is so common that when you look at the rate of D of second and third marriages it is much higher than the 50% first MR D rate. Why? Because people do not do the work before starting a new R. My concern for you here is that just a couple of weeks ago you were wanting to contact STBXW and tell her you were open to one last chance. Then suddenly you meet New Woman and are all in on moving on from STBXW. Shortcutting the end of one R to start another very rarely ends well.

Broken attracts broken. New Woman is only 2 years younger than you and never been married. You kind of have to wonder why, don't you?