The divorce is proceeding, which is good. I'm worn out with the days I've got the kids to myself. We have a lot of activities going on right now and its a lot on my own. I feel like work is improving some.
I've gone out on a couple of dates. I met a real nice girl - and I really mean that. She's never been married, no kids, just two years younger. She's really cute, fit, and very successful. Super sweet. Our first time out was not a date, it was just dinner but we ended up talking until they kicked us out at midnight.
She has her pain from her past and I have mine, and we've shared those stories. We've only been out three times, but it has been nice.
The ex is the ex. I try not to see or talk or deal with her, but for the kids sake I feel like I got to balance being an A-hole with my space.
The girl I mentioned above is someone I could probably get serious with, and so I'm trying to take my time and make sure I'm not moving too fast - I did not intend to start something. To be honest, I was more interested in a couple of flings, but this one is pretty good - she could be for real, though the timing isn't great because I do thing I shouldn't jump into anything.
Because of this new woman I can see more holes in my relationship than I had already seen. I was never really able to share my whole self with my ex; there were parts of me that she didn't seem to want to know or understand, and when I would share those parts, the most vulnerable parts she would hurt me with them or accuse me of manipulation.
This new woman seems to accept those parts. She seems to want to know me in a different way, she's curious and kind and seems trustworthy. Now I get it, its soon, etc. etc.; that's not the point. The point is that I can see things and I am learning. And with that learning will come growth. The next woman I'm fully with, I need to make sure that she accepts all of me. Not just the successful, athletic, fit, self but also the other stuff - the more vulnerable creative, parts. --------------------- Anyhow, I think of you all as friends. You've been very good to me and very kind over the past year and a half since I began posting. I really appreciate what the veterans here do. There were times when I had no one to talk to and this message board was there for me. Thank you. I appreciate all of you.
