Life goes on

[kiro]

Thanks for the update Kirk.

Can you elaborate on a different kind of happiness and what that means?

I didn’t really think about it too much when I wrote that. I guess there are many layers to it and a lot that can be said to explain.

First, I agree with LH19. I was happy in my 1st MR in an intact traditional family. That was the life I had planned and wanted for myself and my children. Although I got remarried, due to some logistical matters my new wife and her daughter haven’t yet moved in with me. So like LH, I still have a lot of single time that I enjoy either by myself or with my kids.

But I also meant that D is still bitter and comes with a price. I still have to pay alimony and child support. I still have to see my kids go from house to house with all their stuff every other week. There is the awkwardness with all the common friends that my ex and I had. And the awkwardness of bringing my new wife into that circle of friends who are still friends with my ex. And then you still need to sort your feelings about all the old memories. It’s definitely a big readjustment.

And then there are the scars from being cheated on. I felt like I was a child who lost his innocence and had to go through a painful experience to mature and learn a different side of life.

All these changes and the experience I went through changed me and my perspective about life. That’s why I say I’m happy but in a different way. For example, I am much more grateful now for everything I have. I am kinder to the people in my life. I make more efforts to show my gratitude and love. I am more forgiving.

Yet at the same time, I learned to be more at peace with myself. I do things that I like. I have more hobbies than before. I started painting again and playing music. Basically, I do things for myself too.