Yes you need a lawyer. You can’t negotiate with someone who gaslights you and brings out such fear in you. And trying to be “nice” usually results in the LBS getting ripped off in divorce negotiations.
Let’s do a quick test. Is he offering you: Half of all assets acquired during the marriage, including half of any pensions or retirement accounts? Alimony by state formula for half the years if your marriage based on the difference between your incomes (if there is a difference)? Child support based on the differences between your incomes, by state formula? Life insurance on his life to cover his child support and alimony obligations if he dies? Money for you to retrain if you can’t work in the industry you and he worked in?
If he’s not offering you these things you’re probably not getting a fair shake.
Your situation especially is complicated since you worked in the “family business” but he’s the public face and there’s no resale value of the business per se. You really need an attorney’s advice for this. Maybe mediation where you meet with a mediator but have your own outside attorney advising you as well. (That’s what I did).
