Elbereth, personally I think you're still trying to hold on too tight. It's almost if by rushing him he'll have second thoughts. I think your statement on wanting him to move in with OW proves this.
Elbereth, lots of LBSs come here and try to fool themselves into believing that they are doing things to move things along in the name of "moving on".
Here's the thing... What is the rush? It's waited this long why can't it wait longer? So he had a timeline and he is reneging on that timeline. Yep, that's about 99.9% of all WSs. Their follow through on things is awful. Vets here used to always point out that it is usually the LBS that ends up filling for D, or moving it forward, etc.
As far as the financial side, I get that. But I wonder if the fact he's spending money on her is what it really bugging you? I can understand you feeling that way, but if you're rushing things to end that I think you'll be surprised. Plus all you need to do is document everything and get that to your lawyer. Most places will take spending into account from the point of separation. So his spending, if properly documented, will likely come out of his half of community property.
One last word of warning, if you're rushing things to end the pain, I'm afraid you'll be disappointed. Lots of LBSs rush things for the wrong reasons and end up D'd and miserable. This is why you should be working on yourself, dealing with your emotional baggage related to him, and learning to move forward happy and healthy. This last post concerns me because it's all about him. Where is your GAL? Where are the self improvements? Have you been working on emotional detachment?
Elbereth, I forget, are you in IC?
Last edited by SteveLW; 04/10/2102:31 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
