That doesn't mean that I can't still lament and mourn the loss of my M or the H that he once was.
The one who choked you out and called you a fat a$$? Or before that?
Before that.... before stress an anger took over his life... and mine.
Please don't mistake my grieving over my H and M to be that I accept and gloss over the way he ended up treating me.
I look at my H and his issues as similar to an alcoholic or drug addict. You love the person but you don't love their behavior or their choices during that behavior. Alcoholics and drug addicts can change their lives for the better and I believe the same for those with anger issues. Its not easy... it takes hard work and expect there to be bumps in the road.
Just because I still love my H doesn't mean I'm sitting here pining for him.
There is a reason that the dog pick up will only take 5min versus the 40min he drug it out at drop off. I will be ready and everything will be packed up. It wont' take me 25min to disassemble the dog crate (and it really only needed 5min). I don't need to draw out any interactions with him.
I accept where things are at. I accept they may never change. I'm not waiting on him to get his crap together.
