One foot in front of the other

[Elbereth]

Thank you Wayfarer...it is so helpful to hear your take on my struggles with the step-parenting and step-kids. I don't have anyone in my life that is also a step-parent...so that has been hard for me now and ever since I became a parent. I am a child of divorce and I have an amazing step-dad that is more my dad then my bio-dad. But I didn't realize how hard being a step-parent would be until I became one. And my H hasn't really been as supportive of my efforts as he could be. I know he appreciated me doing it, but he didn't allow me to help raise the boys...shutting down my ideas or feelings even in front of them. I think he took every opinion, idea, feeling as somehow me saying he was/is a poor father. Anyway, I digress...and at this point, it doesn't even matter as they will be off to college and living different lives then what we all had in our home. And I will have more control over making my own relationship with them away from him...hopefully. Like you say, all I can do is keep being there for them and let them know I love them and want to be there for them. Thank you for your advice and insights. I have read your whole sitch and I admire you so much! So, thank you again for your perspective. It means a lot to me!

And Sage, you are soooooo right about Wayfarer...so I am happy to have my string 'hijacked'! And happy you stopped by too and shared your thoughts on my sitch.

I'm struggling even though I know I am doing the right things... The next few months are going to be soooo hard... Packing up, moving, divorcing and disrupting our younger sons life even more than this pandemic has. H is so selfish and blind...he just thinks 'kids are resiliant' and it's really no big deal what he is doing. I'm trying to be strong but it is still hard. Even though I know I will be okay. Just because I am strong enough to handle pain, doesn't mean I deserve it.

El

PS. I know I shouldn't stalk the OW. I don't feel anything towards her...as I cannot even see why he is into her (I think he's stuck in the past and has no idea of who this current version of her is). Somehow it just keeps reminding me how lost he is. She doesn't have anything on me. And she is getting this current version of H...the one that I don't like, that has no integrity, who is selfish, who is lost. I had the best of him. And when I say I'm sorry for them, I'm sorry for her husband and kids. Not for her. She's just as messed up as my H.