You are stuck in a pattern. Until you truly accept that your WW is a narcissist and will never ever change, be prepared to live this scenario out over and over again for years to come. I have a friend in the same exact situation and it’s been 6 years for her since he cheated on her and divorced her. Her ex has had 10’s of relationships and keeps her hooked. She’s miserable and can’t let him go.
She knows exactly how to play you and her goal is to keep you as plan B until she feels comfortable with a new guy. The she will drop you like a hot potato because the new guy won’t want her interacting with you.
In addition, she never loved you Steve (and never will). You are fuel you her and she isn’t capable of love. You can’t fix something that never was.
Honestly I would suggest getting custody of your kids and moving to another state. If that’s not possible, I would suggest in-patient psychiatric hospitalization for you until you can detox from her.
