Strong progress, and you're thinking about the right things, and in the right direction.
Originally Posted by mako
I am getting out of the house just fine, but I am having difficulty finding stuff to do. I've said before, we moved here just a few years ago and I spent almost all my time with the family and didn't really work on building friendships around here. Meetup groups are sparse around here.. So for the most part I'm just going out and doing things solo: hikes, restaurants I've wanted to go to, errands, or even just driving around and exploring. I just wonder if that's a bad thing, if I need to force myself to be more social at this point, I'm going to need more of a network once D happens. For example, there's a chess club nearby I want to join, but they aren't meeting right now.
We have much in common. I'm further along with my ex--R'd multiple times, then 100% done and in the "Life After D" forum--but I'm facing similar challenges rebuilding my network of friends.
I agree forcing yourself outside your comfort zone would be wise. There will be successes. The failures will teach you better what you find enjoyable, tolerable, and intolerable.
re: Hiking, I do 75% solo. In my circle, 3 have proposed hiking with me this week, I suspect 4-6 would accept invites. To not feel like I'm "wasting time", a hike has to first meet my goals, and then adding friends is great. Most people fit either on my easy days or hard days. I can add a heavy pack to balance it out. Questions to you--1) When you hike solo, don't you run across others hiking solo? 2) Do you tell co-workers and acquaintances about your hikes? 3) Have you looked for local hiking groups--it's not all about Meetup? 4) Have you searched for non-hiking groups that hike such as bird-watchers, botanists, volunteer groups, etc?
re: Chess, I'd be shocked if the chess group "gave up playing chess". I suspect they are playing regular swiss tournaments on one of the many online chess sites. Maybe inquire?
Yesterday was Easter. Holidays are an opportunity to connect.
Making friends requires putting yourself out there--and there isn't an app for it like dating! You take the same lumps--he/she likes me, he/she rejected me, etc. But if you can date, you can make friends. It's a numbers game. Some percentage of people want a new hiking or chess friend. You just need to find them!
