New M, new WAW

[mako]

This weekend went ok. Saturday was S9's birthday, I took him out to lunch to get his favorite food and got him some books he had wanted. Saturday morning I went on a hike and Saturday night I went out as W wanted to see a movie with him. I mostly just did some errands. Sunday I took the kids to my dad's for Easter. W went out Friday and Sunday but I am finding myself less and less concerned by that.

One problem I am having is with GALing. W and I are pretty much giving each other 3 nights a week where we can be alone and the other stays with the kids, so there is sufficient opportunity. I am getting out of the house just fine, but I am having difficulty finding stuff to do. I've said before, we moved here just a few years ago and I spent almost all my time with the family and didn't really work on building friendships around here. All of my really good friends are much longer term and live far away. It's also somewhat rural so there's not a ton going on. Meetup groups are sparse around here and I quit drinking a little while back so I'm not going to go to bars. So for the most part I'm just going out and doing things solo: hikes, restaurants I've wanted to go to, errands, or even just driving around and exploring.

I will note that I'm ok with this. I'm an introvert that doesn't require a lot of social interaction. And I'm not sitting at home stewing and thinking about the M, I am out and about doing stuff, just not being social. I just wonder if that's a bad thing, if I need to force myself to be more social at this point, I'm going to need more of a network once D happens. Whenever the vaccine gets more widespread that may help. For example, there's a chess club nearby I want to join, but they aren't meeting right now. A lot of stuff is like that, I've had interest in things but they are kind of on pause for now. Hopefully we'll be back to normal soon.

One thing on the plus side, I am doing better I think with anger and forgiveness that I talked about last week. Whenever anger comes up I try to couple it with forgiveness and it somewhat subsides, I have also tried to channel it a bit into my workouts, as R2C mentioned lots of folks do. Like I said I have begun to feel much less emotion on the nights W goes out, where at the beginning I certainly felt a lot. I think that is a good sign and perhaps detachment is starting to come along, though I'm sure it will ebb and flow.