I think you mentioned your ex had to work hard to get you, more than once. I wonder if part of you wants that, this is part of your dating ritual, that you need to feel they are trying so hard so you feel secure? I could be totally off-base on that last one! Just an idea to ponder.
I was not interested in my STBXH... Our first date was only because I had tix to a concert during the week and I went through my entire friends list... he was the very last person I asked and he was so excited that I would date him he called in sick to work that night. If anyone knows my STBXH and in the 11yr that followed by H has never called in sick to work EVEN when he has been sick. So I learned over time that he really wanted to spend time with me.
It took a 3 months and a 3rd date before I fell for my H.
Same with pilot. He was nice enough on our first date... still nice on our second date... Honestly it was just nice to date someone from my small town. Most dates on the site are guys 45+min away. It wasn't until our third date that I fell for him... UGH.... and got stuck on him... (FACEPALM).
Anyway I'm not actively dating but I did meet up with a guy I had a date with - we've agreed we both have other things going on in our lives but we like being friendly. We just met up to walk our dogs. It was nice and there was no pressure. He doesn't contact that often - again nice.
