New M, new WAW

[mako]

Thanks for coming by R2C.

I am not familiar with the four agreements but I'm going to look into it. I've also seen a lot of talk of NGS on this board and from what I've gathered I think it might be applicable so I'm going to check that book out too. All part of the self improvement.

Set your W free. The sooner the better. Forgive her daily (or more frequently if needed). She will not have a change of heart, until she misses what she had with you. Then you can reevaluate your relationship with her.

This really struck me. I have been struggling with detachment, and I think I have been hung up on anger and bitterness. I suppose those things are natural when grieving, but it isn't the way I want to stay. Anger isn't going to let me move forward, it isn't going to help my kids, and it isn't going to help improve my relationship with my W (even if that relationship is coparents and nothing more). I think I've finally realize that anger simply keeps me attached to her. If I can forgive her then I can let her go. So yes, I think that forgiveness is what I will be working on.

In other news, yesterday we had a 2.5 hour session of property negotiation. It went about as well as I could have expected, we have agreed to the terms of the vast majority of things which is nice, though there are some details left. I hope we can finish amicably and avoid the many horror stories I've read about wasting thousands and thousands of dollars on lawyers.