Just read your thread. Glad you stopped the nesting. I had IHS, then nesting, then separate houses. I will leave the quibbling to LH and LW.
One of the key things in your growth is letting go of the need to control other people. Makes the process much easier. Are you familiar with the four agreements? if not, google it.
I struggle with different love languages. My lady is an "acts of service" and "words of affirmation" person. I constantly have to remind myself that is what she needs. I don't need either of those to feel loved. She does.
In your case, I believe nailing down your validation skills would be good. Validate how she feels.
Focus on what you can control. Your behavior, the way you interact with others, and the words you say. Your most important relationship is with your children. Be the calm rock for them during this most difficult time.
Set your W free. The sooner the better. Forgive her daily (or more frequently if needed). She will not have a change of heart, until she misses what she had with you. Then you can reevaluate your relationship with her.
Until then DB and DB some more.
I wish you well.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
