As for the puppy - if I hadn't agreed STBXH would have found someone else. Its super unlikely he would have cancelled a trip to HI because I would not watch the dog. FRACK... its been nice to the fella back. The only good part about this crappy day.
This is typical enabler logic. "If I hadn't provided the heroin he would have got it from somewhere else." Yep, but your hands would be clean.
I know you like the dog. I know you wish things were different. But you aren't going to change things by watching his dog for him while he takes a trip to Hawaii with OW.
I get it.... but its not heroin... its a dog... and one could argue what if it were a child? Do you compare a child to heroin???
STBXH was going to HI with OW.... I did not enable him to go. He was going. He was trying to honor his agreement when he took the dog that I would be the one to pet sit.
Sure, I could have made the puppy suffer at a dog kennel for 2 weeks - then by your definition my hands would be clean but would that be fair to the puppy???
Just know - I 100% did this for the dog. AND, I've relished every minute he's been here to the point I think I may change my phone number and not let STBXH have the dog back.... Ok, that's probably extreme but seriously if he never came back for the dog I would not be calling him about it.
KC, your life, you get to make the decisions. Sorry if I upset you. I wasn't comparing the dog to heroin, I think deep down you know that.
You should at least own the fact that you did ---- why else would you have made a heroin analogy in reference to me watching the dog stating I was enabling him to go to by doing so as someone who would buy another heroin.
You could have easily said I was pain shopping by agreeing to watch the dog - okay... maybe you are right.
But you said I was enabling his trip to HI - like if I hadn't watched the dog he wouldn't be able to go OR if he did go to HI because someone else bought him "heroin" I would have clean hands.
If you could tell me 100% that you would refuse to have your D come stay with you because her mother was taking a trip out of town so that you were not enabling her mother to be able to go out of town then please stop referring me as enabling a heroin addict.
I see the dog as a beautiful living creature that I raised for the first 6mo of this life. Having him in my home is certainly a joy - perhaps bittersweet given the circumstance... BUT, I'm an empty nester and these two dogs are where my heart is currently. I will do anything for this dog even if it means breaking my own heart. I truly believe that you would have provided a safe place to stay for your D even though your heart might have broke a little because her mother was having away time with a new love. AND - I would never refer to the whole thing as you are supplying heroin to her mother.
^^^^It was a poor analogy. We all make mistakes but just own it rather than trying to act like you didn't do it.
