None of this surprises me G. In fact I may have predicted it a few years ago when you were still rather optimistic about the whole OLD thing. I honestly think it’s a normal and healthy reaction. I hit this same wall myself and could not imagine trying OLD again without totally forcing myself into it. Of course you are seeing the same faces from years ago. That’s part of the craziness of the land of misfit toys that is OLD. Look here how many people try OLD when they clearly are not ready. We see it, we tell them, but they do,it anyway. Some pull out on their own, others go on some dates. But the people talking to or meeting them could be very much like you (or me) hoping to meet a healthy, ready and emotional stable and available person. What we get is something totally different. Many on OLD are not looking for what you are. Not even talking hook ups or players but just those going through the motions and not really committed to finding a real R. I’ve said all of this before. Yes there are SOME OLD who are as advertised but they are the huge exception rather than the norm.
Treating it like CanBird does is certainly an option but also difficult. You have expectations and desires and the chance of those being met OLD are slim. And I fear it’s gotten even worse over the years. So I Can totally understand how you feel and how you got here.
So I totally support giving up OLD. But that doesn’t mean giving up totally. The in person meeting could work for you but yes you have to be ready for them. If you’ve gotten in the mode of not trying at all, that could bight you - like it did with hot dad. I’ve heard the dating experts talk about this exact thing - how you have to clean up even going to the store because you never know who you might meet. Then TRY in person. Don’t assume hot dad would have no interest in you. Why would that be the case? That’s in your head. Get it out. Be flirty. Be fun. Keep The Who cares attitude but show you are available and interested.
It’s hard to keep trying. It really is. But giving up OLD does not mean giving up. Do things with friends. Keep going out like you are just spend a few minutes getting ready and then be your fun, flirty self and be approachable. Give off the signals that let guys know you’d be open to being asked out. If they get the stay away or not interested vibe they won’t try. I’m a guy, I know this. Guys can tell when a woman has no interest in being approached and who wants to get shot down. Crack that door open and guys will approach you.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D