New M, new WAW

[mako]

Completely disagree. First of all time and space are the only things that help with detachment.

For me, space definitely improved detachment. I feel much less detached since I came back, so that is a negative.

Physical separation is the only way to get your spouse to wondering what you are up to which is what you want if you want to turn this around immediately.

This part I don't agree with, I actually think IHS is better for this in my sitch. Part of the problem with our M was that I lost a lot of my individuality and withdrew socially, letting my life be too defined by the MR. Lately, and not just due to lockdowns, I spent all of my time with her and the kids without living my own life (we need not discuss how she would also complain when I would do social things on my own). If we were physically separate I am sure she would assume I am just sitting at home all the time as that is more in line with how I'd been the past few years. With IHS she actually sees me leave to do things.

Nothing sounds worse then a LBS watching there WW get al gussied up to go out and sleep with OM.

True. Nothing like walking by her room and the whole place reeking of perfume.

The only advantage to IHS is more time with the kids but it is easier to start the process now and ease it into the divorce.

Time with kids is a big part of why I want to be here. Also a lot was I just was not productive working at home away from home. With the rest of my life drastically changing I need to keep some stability in my work and I'm much better off here. The good thing, for me at least, is I can see an endgame. We are fixing up the house to put it on the market so we are looking at a few months. If I was facing an indefinite limbo like some on the board I think I would be going a bit more crazy about it.