One foot in front of the other

[SteveLW]

... but the point of the process they focused on was how it can free you from your own guilt/rage/anger, etc.

Yes. I found forgiving oneself to be the most difficult.


D

So true. You can add me to that list. I found that forgiving myself for the mistakes in my marriage, of which I made many, was harder than it was to forgive her of her indiscretions. Like many LBSs I tried to take all of the blame for what she was doing. It was fine people in this forum and other places that had to remind me that what she was doing was her own fault, and that there were dozens of ways she could have better handled my poor behavior. I think as LBSs we forget that the WAS has no excuse for what they are doing. None. Nothing justifies breaking their own vows and stepping out of the MR and being intimate with someone else. If things are so bad they could try working on the marriage, getting the LBS to see how badly they are behaving, or just going and filing for D. It is so much more admirable for someone to end the marriage before beginning a new R with someone new, but as this forum shows so few WASs do it in that order. Most of the time they have already found someone new before they decide to end their MR. Cart before the horse.

So own your mistakes. Admit them. Learn from them. Resolved to be better and do them no more. But then forgive yourself and move forward!