Hey! Thanks for the kind words. I really do think I’m awesome. Self doubt I think is just ingrained in me from no certainly and never being good enough to those I loved. But I am good enough for me.
I did actually decide to dip my toe in online dating. And well, I hate it. I just can’t seem to stand it anymore. It yields zero pleasure for me, lol. I’m chatting with a guy, but I dunno. I would rather be concentrating on my subtitled series about Orthodox Jews. That’s sad. I don’t like the process of getting to know random strangers . I can talk anyone up, I’ll make small talk. with random people, but getting to know someone I don’t know from a hole in the wall to see if I would enjoy dating then has become a personal he!! For me. My tolerance for it is gone. So my alternative is to not do it and just be alone. I’m at least relieved to know my updated pictures still get attention. But I just can’t do this anymore. Too many years of it, with no good outcomes. I did enjoy half of the year I had with M, other than that, I haven’t had any success in many years of online dating. I also see a lot of the same faces, surprisingly enough in my very densely populated region. Maybe I just need to ride out the high school years and see what happens when I move. My life is flying by me. I haven’t had a 20+ something married life here like most. I have spent majority of my adult hood as a single mother . It’s tough and lonely, but it is what it is.
In other news, my ex is p*ssing me off. It’s been a while. 2 incomes in that household, one of a lawyer ( which apparently makes no money) and taking my daughter 2 weeks to Hawaii, then Myrtle beach, and he is broke . I told D13 we will try and get her contacts again this week, because she is back in swimming class and can’t see anything. And with the activities in Hawaii, I wanted her to be able to see! Didn’t ask the ex. Just told her to give me the number of eye place. He told our daughter he was broke and can’t afford her half now. WHAT?!? His half is maybe $75? And he can’t afford it , but he has a time share to take out kid on extravagant vacations? I’m p*ssed. I just told D 13 I will pay, I am not going to let her go without because he can’t pay his half. What else am I going to do? Legally divorced almost 12 years, and I never ONCE made an adjustment to child support. He almost started in on me getting the child credit for D13, but I think he thought twice that wouldn’t be a smart move. I pay just about everything for this kid on $176 biweekly. And she is not a cheap kid to have, lol. I have one income coming into this home. Some days I just don’t get it. I’m just going to be right by my daughter and move on. Maybe he fell into some awful financial hardship. I don’t know.
In good news, I got some praise at my second job, which was nice. Going to FL in less than 2 weeks. My unit at work starts the biggest loser challenge tomorrow, so perhaps a little motivation there.
And I survived a week my dad and his wife living here. Everything my dad thought needed to be fixed, he broke trying to fix it. But he’s good for hiring someone to fix the stuff. D13 goes back to school 5 days next week, although not full days, but I think it will be good for her.
Oh, and I took D14 and her friend to her first swim class ( it’s a skills class, my kid is such a good swimmer) and a hot dad was chatting me and my friends mom up ( she’s much older and married). He made sure to mention his EX WIFE, however, I am an idiot and I was dressed like a teenage boy in sweats, a hoodie, and a baseball cap with no makeup. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t into me. But man, he was GOOD LOOKING and a good conversationalist and lives in the town I work in. Next time I go, I’ll have to try to look half decent. I was trying to squeeze the fact I was divorced too in there, but D13’s friends mom wouldn’t shut up, lol.
And that’s that
Last edited by job; 04/01/2101:09 PM. Reason: edited a word
