W arranged for the kids to be at her parents’ for the weekend. I half expected her to just leave for the weekend but she didn’t. Yesterday I finished work early and did some painting around the house. Went and worked out. Then around 5 I was just going to go shopping. She asked me if I wanted to go to dinner. I was kinda unsure about it but I agreed.
We went, and had a good time. Both got some shopping done, had a nice dinner, nice talking. It was like normal. Except half way through dinner I just keep thinking, it’s not normal, this isn’t how it was, because we’re going to go home and go to bed in different rooms and still be in the sitch. I felt down the rest of the night.
This morning I got up and got some coffee, did some journaling, and decided I need to get out of there. Thought I’ll go on a hike at a state park nearby. So that’s where I am, I’ll start after I post. I saw W as I left, said “Good morning, going out, see you later.” And still feel down. Blah. Maybe I can walk it out.
So yeah, not detached yet. Need to work on that. Like we were talking about above: do I want to be her friend, or her husband? Not just her friend. So I think I should avoid situations like last night.
Me: 43 W: 41 Together 2009, Married 2011 Sons 10 and 6, Daughter 5 Bomb 2/21/21. W moved out 10/2021
