Steve_ Facing reality Part 1.

[Steve_]

I’m not gonna quit I’m just overloaded. I guess I thought I was doing the right thing I honestly am not trying to manipulate I know she don’t give a F about me I was just enjoying myself and was finally not scared to be open with it. I was taken aback by how she claimed to not care but got mad.. that’s all. I was feeling ready to hang out with whoever. I did not expect her to actually be mad about it. I actually figured she would be like oh okay he’s moving on fine I don’t gotta feel bad now.. thought it would push things along even. It’s not about getting my W back I was about having fun and sticking up for myself. That’s all. I’m just a bit raw about the attacks on me being a dad. I do so much for these kids more than most dads go Lengths to do. But I cannot control mom, I ask her to be responsible I ask her to do the right thing. But I refuse to not watch them when she goes out or not pick up homework for them cause she don’t want to do it. Sure it’s not a good move as a lbs but it’s about being a dad not about my WW. Honestly I’m watching them right now, it’s not even about being a good H it’s about having zero issue spending all the time I can with them because I won’t get to do it later. I never take days off from being a dad, I never let my kids get watched by someone else, never ask my WW to do anything for me to help as a parent. I just ask her to do a better job and she’s not into being a W or a M right now, she is into being crazy. I’m not trying to whine here but I did get some 2x4’s that were unnecessary. I am not playing games I’m trying desperately to move on. But what I took away from all this today is that I cannot rush moving on and just like “hey I’m okay now” I want to be. But I’m not that’s fine I guess. I’m just so exhausted from all this crap being an LBS/only responsible parent this is doing. But I will eat my lemons and just relax. I will still do a lot with all my friends but if what I did comes off as manipulation I will not post up stuff of girls that are friends just me and my male buddies out fishing, hiking, camping and what not. Guess I tried to do too much to fast. Cant cheat the process of this I suppose. I’m not mad about it but I just care too much, had a F it kind of day and was not ashamed until I read y’all’s responses. It’s fine though I’ll do better next time. I haven’t ever been left by a wife before and a single dad on my own before gonna need to get the hang of dealing with it.