I was frustrated a few weeks ago and initiated a convo. Aired some things out on both sides. Keep in mind I haven't done that for 20 months.. things got a little heated.
Hi Greenman, that's one of the reasons to keep posting--you can air grievances here or in your journal without setting back your situation. "Heated conversations" rarely shorten your limbo in a positive way.
Originally Posted by Steve
W says that she was thinking about suggesting marriage counseling as a last ditch effort
I agree with Steve, MC only makes sense if she's committed to the marriage, and her phrasing around it--"last-ditch" and "only after things got a little heated"--strongly implies you're nowhere close. My own experiences with MC when either my partner or I were not committed was that it didn't help and maybe hurt.
May went through "Discernment Therapy" with the purpose of helping her partner decide if he was committed. I have no personal experience, but one thing I liked from her descriptions is the therapist kept reminding him of boundaries ("It only makes sense to talk about your anger over that once you've committed to staying. Are you committing to staying?") It also did not let him check off that "I gave it my all.. with MC" box. If you must do some sort of therapy, it's an alternative to check into. You might ask May more about it.
