Steve_ Facing reality Part 1.

[Steve_]

I did try EMDR with an Ipad the VA gave me for awhile. I have gotten better, less nightmares and such. I just say blocking it out because I am sick and tired of being an emotional man that cares. And she never came over to drink that wine, actually I drank it last night with two girls from work. They came over to hang out. I never really let anyone come over of opposite sex but honestly I didnt care, they are just friends I am also friends with both of their boyfriends, they tell me their issues I tell them mine etc... they had fun and appreciated the wine at least lol.

Had to run past the house and drop my sons homework off and some AAA batteries for him. WW acted too cool for me, then asked if i wanted to hang out, I declined and went home. Made dinner called up my friend and they were like "we are coming over" It was fun, posted up a picture on my snapchat of them at my table with me and the expensive wine I got for the WW date haha and honestly I didnt feel "bad or wrong" about it. I felt like it was cool friends and its me doing something besides being a dad and a doormat husband. I think im gonna get me a selfie-stick and start hiking all over the place and putting up those things too. I want to start having a life besides just my kids and work. Thats all anyone ever sees on my social media. Wholesome things not partying or stupid stuff. I started to feel like some sorry loser that sits around waiting on WW to love him. I don't want that to be who I am.

Im just over being so damn soft, its not working out for me, being nice to her isnt gonna stop her from being wild, there is zero point in spending energy on her anymore, so Im just doing whatever else makes me happy and staying out of trouble.

and yes they are from another country.