Steve_ Facing reality Part 1.

[SteveLW]

I dont go to counseling or services for PTSD, and ive seen/done some things in the war that people would call horrific. When I go to counseling I have to re-live it over and over. I found that simply blocking it out helped, yes it didnt work right away and I had to get used to it being part of me now, but eventually the anxiety and pain and confusion from what happened and the guilt, anger etc started to subside in time. Yes it changed me but its history not present. Going to counseling and explaining it over and over and what I think about it was not effective for me, it just kept pulling the scab off the wound.

This is one of the most concerning things I've ever read. Many PTSD sufferers have tried to take this route, only to have it manifest years/decades later in very unhealthy ways. Please reconsider viewing it this way. Counseling for PTSD isn't about about avoiding the pain, the it is to feel and process that pain. To work through it. You used the wound analogy. Your point was removing the scab. I'd argue that a scab never developed. In fact, you wrapped the wound in a bandage even though it was infected and not healing. By not seeing it you think it is good, but underneath that covering bad things are stirring.

Please, for the sake of yourself and your children do not try bury your PTSD.