Steve_ Facing reality Part 1.

[mtb1981]

Steve, it seems like you're in a better head space, but you still have a ways to go. My ex WW is an awful addict and most likely has some personality disorder, and I was codependent as you could possibly be. I had no clue at the time. I didn't even know what codependency was. I was also willing to let her run around doing dumb stuff, disrespecting me because I thought it was a phase and she would come back. That I could look past it because I loved her. Eventually the fog cleared and I realized how effed up my situation was. I finally let go and found peace. She's a mess and always will be. She always found a way to keep pulling me back in, just like your WW. I ate every little crumb she threw, until I realized how stupid I was for accepting that kind of treatment...

I totally get where you're coming from too when you talk about "blocking it all out". A lot of people are telling you to face the situation (you will need to eventually), but I had to do the same thing. It was all I could do to detach from the situation at the time. I just took care of myself and my kids and found whatever it was I could to distract myself. I needed to be completely out of the situation before I was able to start healing from it. My number one goal was to get her out of my life. I had to reach a point where I knew I'd never taker her back before I could let that wall down and start processing some of the later stages of grief. And when I did, it was a lot easier than i thought it would be...

One bit of advice, when she comes to get the kids, you don't need to buckle them in. You shouldn't even leave the house. Meet at the front door. Kids walk out. You say goodbye. You close the door. Simple. You're putting yourself out there like bait, just giving her opportunities to mess with you. And just wait. She will. She'd not near done yet...

I also have to ask, your wife and her parents from another country?...