FTR, I disagree with this. It is your sitch DBX and you can do what you want, but WAWs are like cats. They run the other way when you reach out to them. But sometimes if you sit still and let her come to you, she will want to come and jump in your lap. The one last ditch effort to have a heart-to-heart rarely if ever works. And then the LBH feels devastated and like they just gave up their integrity.
Also, filing for D doesn't mean that you can't have this heart-to-heart later. Some WWs have been jolted by the actual serving of divorce papers. Not all or a majority, but some.
I'm inclined to agree with your SteveLW. I don't think asking her if she wants to work on the marriage at this point would be helpful. If she really wants to work on it, she needs to come to me.
Here are your choices in my opinion. 1. Have a talk with her and let her know unless things change you are going to file for D, if you are sure you are willing to follow up and actually file if nothing changes 2. Blindside her by filing for a D without having a talk with her first about your intentions 3. Do nothing and continue to stay in limbo hoping that she will come back to you someday.
