I appreciate the advise, but its tough. Being invited to hang out with my kids and saying no is tough. Not to mention, when it comes up I'm betting she will tell the kids "I invited your father but he didn't want to come." ------------------- I had an interesting moment in mediation yesterday. Recognize that we first had a 3 hour call for her attorney to ask me questions about my business to put a value on it. Then yesterday we had a 2.5 hour call. Recognize that every hour costs about $1200.
At the end of the second call, we had literally gotten no closer to the actual valuation. My attorney, myself, the mediator, and her attorney were discussing the value and whether or not STBXW would accept the value that I had placed on the business. I'm watching this happen and losing my mind because we are all talking about my STBXW and she is in the virtual meeting.
So finally I say to everyone, "STBXW is on the call, why don't we just ask her?" Then her attorney said "I haven't had a chance to talk with her yet" and again I said, "yes, but we can just ask her, she is in the meeting?"
Then her attorney went off on me and said I could direct my comments to her. It was insane. On each of these calls I am peppered with questions. I couldn't believe it. --------------------- So after the call I spoke with my attorney who relayed to me that her attorney had complained that I was pressuring STBXW to settle. I referenced in earlier posts my email correspondence with STBXW. I guess my STBXW wants me to stop - but she had asked for my numbers and what I thought it should look like. And then after that she invited me to the birthday dinner for my son and Easter, Its completely Freaking insane.
Yesterday was really frustrating.
Moving forward I think we might be getting closer to figuring everything out. Through it all I continue to see what a complete and utter mess my STBXW. She's a freaking dumpster fire. I spend half my day cussing her. And at this point, bar none, marrying her goes down as the worst life decision I ever made.
Though maybe taking her back after the affair actually goes down as the biggest mistake. At the same time I will always be able to look my kids in the eye and tell them I did everything that I could to save the family. ------------------ Almost done, I just remembered, at my progressive dinner (which didn't end till 3am -woof.) one of the women asked me if my wife had an affair. I just looked at her and said, "you know the answer to that"; she then replied that everyone knows.
That is a women that is in my neighborhood and also very involved in the kids school (which is very small and private). So basically everyone knows. That has probably put a lot of miserable pressure on my STBXW over the past 4 years and it will continue to be something she deals with going forward. Other women do not respect cheaters that rip families apart.
I was talking to the same woman about my son and how angry he seems to be about everything and she said he has to know. Again she made the point that if all the parents know, then one of the kids has to know and probably said something to him. I haven't really seen a clear sign of that - but its all sad.
Anyhow, I'm just trying to get through the divorce at this point and move on. Once I know the terms I can focus on making good decisions for myself going forward and rebuilding.
