suppose I was trying to find a way to not be so lonely, but that is selfish of me to do, waste peoples time when I dont want anyone. A dating app is not a good healthy distraction I gotta do this until I get to point where im actually okay alone at least 6 more months from now probably longer. (thats what my therapist friend said)
Great, Steve. I'm at month 2.5 of 5 of no dating myself. I'm happy--90% of the time--without anyone else. Yesterday, I helped my D with her AP exams, had a beautiful hike with my S, and had a great night with an old friend. I suspect that baseline will make me less likely to accept or stay with a partner like my ex or your ex. There are lonely moments--they pass. My day is not filled with loneliness. I'm chatting with other men and women just not via dating. There are a gazillion sites and apps for meeting people to do what you enjoy--e.g., radio control or whatever else you're into or may want to try just now.
Originally Posted by Steve
I feel wrong about even putting myself out there since I am not even close to available inside.
You also have not worked through what is broken in you that you accepted and stayed with a serial cheater. Until you fix that via therapy, you are likely to repeat that pattern in future relationships. Most of us would not have been attracted to your ex-wife and would not have tolerated what she put you through.
