Sorry I have not commented sooner Ginger. (((HUGS))). I’m a date person too. I can also appreciate your perspective on having dark thoughts from time to time. I am definitely guilty of that myself for sure. I’ve gotten good at putting the brakes on when I feel myself start to spiral a bit. I know you have worked a lot on that as well. Ever since I agreed to sell my half of the house to XH and OW, I have had to do that a fair amount. I remember thinking at BD that there was no way I would ever allow OW to take over my life to the extent that she would move into my home and life would go on as if I hadn’t existed. That was just too much for me to take back then which is why I never even considered allowing XH to buy me out back then. But that was over two years ago and it is amazing how perspective can shift and other things become more important. Not gonna lie, it does still sting a tiny bit when I think about them living in my home but I quickly shift my focus to the joy my kids are feeling at not having to leave their home...and that is more important to me than anything. You have been an inspiration in that regard as you always find a way to manage your feelings and put D13 first. Many people in your position would not be able to do this but you have created a good coparenting relationship with XH despite having to have a front row seat to his marriage to OW. You have a strength of character that not many people have and I hope you recognize it because certainly the rest of us do.
RE: online dating. Maybe it would be easier to deal with if you treated it as just another activity to engage in when you’ve got nothing better to do? I think it becomes exhausting when you attach a lot of hope and expectations to it. When you view it as just another “game” on your phone you can choose to play or not play, it may seem less onerous. IDK...I’m sure others have some thoughts around this that they can share with you. Anyway....just wanted to lend you my support and let you know I am thinking of you.
BTW...42 is YOUNG!!!! You’ve got so many adventures still to come!! (((HUGS)))
