Trying to heal from WW - part 2

[Ace_32]

Thanks for the responses Sandi, OnlyBent and Steve.

Sandi, yes i definitely im trying to find myself and figure out who i want to be and where to go next. The good news is that once you hit almost rock bottom, the only way to go is up. I never really dealt with my issues for most of my life, was always busy studing and working or numbing my mind, so the last few months have been tough to say the least. Had to face myself sooner or later though in order to grow and become a better person so im grateful to have the time now.

OnlyBent, i agree any progress is a success in my opinion no matter how small. A few months ago the memories used to break me, but when everything reminds you of the person eventually you start getting desensitized to it, there are still moments when it affects me more than i like but less often than it used to. I get what you are saying, think im getting to the same point. I still get angry sometimes when i think back to the better times because of what has happened but i also cherish the memories i have with her.

SteveLW, i recall you asking me about this early on in my first thread. I definitely think it played a role, i was working and had done a substantial amount of studies and she was still finishing school and she couldn't drive (she still hasn't got her license and blames me even though i took her driving alot to practice a few years ago). I think the main issue though was that she was still a kid and her personality and what she wanted constantly seemed to change and i struggled to adapt and know what was going on, add to that her lying to me in the beginning and cheating before the marriage and it wasn't sustainable. I didnt feel like i could trust her or what was coming next or what i was going to get told i wasnt doing well enough, it became a very stressful environment and we struggled to even have a normal conversation without arguing. I also tended to want to control the finances and decisions etc. but eventually she just started rebelling against everything. I also built up alot of resentment.