Sorry you find yourself here. These situations are all too common and are usually very predictable once the BD happens.
It took a long time for your W to get to this point, and it will take a long time for this situation to resolve. Work on accepting the fact that there is nothing you can to do to change your W's mind right now. She's hellbent on getting a divorce and the more you resist that, the more she will dig her heels in.
Going forward, your best course of action is take any and all focus off your W and place it solely on you and your kids. Get yourself into therapy if you need it. Talk to your doctor and get anti-depressant meds if you need them. Join a gym and start rebuilding your body and most importantly, leave your W alone.
Come here often and post how you are doing and what you are feeling. And if you feel a strong pull to reach out to your W, come here FIRST and tell us what you plan to do. We will help you stay in your lane and make sure you don't dig yourself a deeper hole.
Every one us here understands the pain, fear, and panic you are feeling. It will get better with time if you follow the advice here, I promise.
Tell us more about your marriage. I assume you have kids?
