I get giving her time and space. But I also truly believe that it shouldn't be infinite.
For sure it should not be infinite. But lots of people on this forum constantly say that it could take “years” for a wayward to change (I believe LH says that a lot, for example). So when you tell me that maybe I should consider filing for divorce after a year and a half, it confuses me. Are you saying that if she was going to change her waywardness, it would have happened by now?
It’s not like I’m waiting by the window for her. Lol. I’m living my life, and have even gone on dates with others. So the way I look at it, the divorce would just be a piece of paper, and would not really change the current dynamic between us (which is basically that we’re both single adults, doing what we want to do, even though we’re legally still married). Am I wrong about this?
I’m curious what you think would be accomplished by filing for divorce? What would change?
It would let you move on. The dogs are going to pass away one day (I've lost several dogs over the years), and then your only connection to her would be a "piece of paper". I get the feeling you're waiting for her waywardness to end. LH does say it could take years. What he and many of us also say is that it could take years.... If ever! As in she may never get over her waywardness. So let me turn it around on you, if you you agree the waiting shouldn't be infinite then how long should it be? A year seems too short for you. Maybe 2? 5? 10?
And if you are dating that has to be awkward. "So your still married? How long have you been separated?" "Umm, 5 years."
Not sure about you but if a woman I met and took out told me she and her estranged husband were separated but still married and it had been over a year, I'm running the other way fast.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
