Originally Posted by dunnm
They have cheated on you, dump them ýou are worth more.

Not all ex's here are cheaters. Many are walkways who stated the marriage was done or both parties agreed to open it or they moved out prior to dating. Even among cheaters, there are degrees--Steve's W limited it to EAs, and May's H had a single PA. This is different than secret OM after OW after OM.

The focus should almost always be on re-building yourself. Most of us have some degree of co-dependency coming out of a long relationship, some degree of self-esteem damage after being rejected by a long-term partner, and we can get caught in a "distancer-pursuer" dynamic chasing a situation we never loved.

Rebuilding ourselves makes reconciliation more likely, makes it more likely we set reasonable terms on it. Rebuilding ourselves enables a happy life without them. It's really "The Way".

Parting shot--this site is so right. smile