Hi dawn! I do think I’m ready to be in a relationship . I’m never going to be perfect. I’m never going to not have these fleeting dark thoughts I get sometimes. I’m always going to have some scars from all that has happened. But my reaction to them is what’s important. Tolerating being treated less than is no longer an option. Being third fiddle and somebody to just occupy someone’s free time is not OK with me. I am not a void filler anymore. I want to be treated with respect. And I just won’t settle for any less than that again. I still have my soft side, I will still be giving and loving to someone who doesn’t abuse that. That’s just who I am. But I’m done giving everything to receive not much in return.
The dating aspect to get there is daunting to me. I’ve gotten comfortable not going through those motions. Most people seem to not have to go through it as much as I do and some pretty good fortune earlier on. I just keep thinking about going through months and months of talking to strangers trying to find a decent guy and I get exhausted.
Tough spot to be in for sure . But I’m almost 41. I’m never going to be in this picture perfect place to date. I just cannot do it from a bad place which I am not in right now. I’m in a good place. Many people have partners and healthy relationships and those people have their issues and demons. It’s how they handle them and let them affect their relationships. I am finally past that place I believe. I can have a healthy relationship if I don’t let those demons control my relationships.
Still haven’t been able to pull the trigger and set up my online profile. But I have been trying to take some new pictures and see what happens
