Oceangrl: Update on MR and LRT sitch

[Oceangl]

Steve and May -- thanks for your support. That makes sense.

Steve, I am doing so much better than I was a year ago. Oh boy. I am much more clear-headed. I do get angry and I do get depressed, but I can also feel that this is within the "normal" grief zone and I just have to go through the process. I am determined not to be bitter let anyone but me have control over my future. But I'm still mad. And sad. And scared sometimes. I am pushing to tell the kids sooner rather than later. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's something I dread, but it's hanging over me and the weight of it is so heavy. I know his pattern. He wants to wait until he can tell them and then leave. That's how he told me about the A. He can't handle emotions. I mean clearly, if he could, he would still be in this marriage.

May - I like you're feistiness! I have been in those moods. I've told him straight a few times lately. It took me a long time to figure out I deserved better, but now that I finally have, I see everything differently. I think you are totally right above. I've got to cut my losses.

Honestly, the hard times for me (obviously) are when we are together as a family. It's the worst. But other than that, I'm just not wanting to be with someone who would treat me the way he does. He really does live in a fantasy world, where we "struggled and tried and decided we aren't right for each other". Puke. He whistles and all but skips around the house. I think in those moments that I must be on Planet Crazy. There is no other explanation. You would think he would at least PRETEND to be sad. He keeps helping my daughter with college plans which gives me pain as I don't want to lead her on that we can afford it now. He seems to think there will be no problem. ???

I am in IC and it does help tremendously. Also to have a few close people who can helpme see things normally again.

I do think when OW finds out (remember they still work together) that we are divorcing she will s*%t bricks. I think she will realize that she can't manipulate me through him and that her secret is going to get out.

While I shouldn't say I'm glad you guys are here, I'm glad there is a place where there are people who get it.