Trying to heal from WW - part 2

[Ace_32]

Hi LH, thanks for your detailed response. In response to your questions i honestly dont know what i want anymore, i dont want someone who has hurt me so much and that i dont know if i will ever be able to trust her again. I am confused because i do still love her and care for her but dont want to be with someone who is so selfish and doesnt have the same values or morals as i do. I believe anyone is capable of change if they really want to and work on it, she is unlikely to change anytime soon though. Like all you guys here say it will probably be years before she comes to the point of realising what she has done, or she possibly never will.

Yes i do see the flaw in my thinking but that was a natural reaction for me at the time to regain some sense of control when my whole perspective on the person i loved was shaken to its core. I do see that it was counterproductive, you cant control a person and after all that happened i tried to control her to protect myself from being cheated on again i think but that obviously didnt work out. Its self preservation i guess but you cant constantly feel like you need to worry about someone cheating on you, it is so stressful and draining. A relationship without trust can never work.

The fantasy i can relate to, LBS tend to remember the good times and WW the bad times only it seems. I build an image of all the good things and make the WW into this amazing person in my mind and forget the flaws and think about it as a loss instead of looking at the positives of this person being removed from my life to make space for better things. The mind is a crazy thing.