WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont8.)

[SteveLW]

So this is interesting, to me at least; my wife is supposed to get my son on his birthday, but it is my day. So she posited that we all go to dinner to a special restaurant together as opposed to her just taking him.

Interesting in what way? I am afraid, as I stated before, that you attach significance to this. "Oh she wants to celebrate his birthday together! Maybe she is having second thoughts!" This is why mindreading is a cheeseless tunnel. Almost all WAWs want to remain friends with their LBH. We've got LBHs here that have WAWs living apart that want to borrow tools from their LBH, call and talk to them for hours at a time, etc. Just because she doesn't want to be married to you anymore doesn't mean she doesn't want you in her life. I had an ex-GF that kept me hanging on like this FOR DECADES!! Not fun, I do not recommend it. Likely she will try to make you a BFF, and only you can decide how much of that you will allow.

"I am not sure what "my wife is supposed to get my son on his birthday, but it is my day" means. Ambiguous child custody planning like this will cause conflicts like this all the time. You need to fix it moving forward. And I find it interesting you still call her "my wife". My STBXW is more like it.

She also replied to my email about negotiating the divorce between us and said that she hadn't had a chance to look at it and that she would get back to me on it.

ROFL! Typical lazy WAS D garbage. And so many LBSs get tripped up. "They must not be very into getting D because they keep dragging their feet on the D!" No, it means they are lazy, already have what they want (living on their own, etc) and are in no hurry to do the hard work that is necessary to end a marriage. Usually what happens, unless the LBS pushes it along, the WAS lets it languish until they meet someone new and want to get remarried, then suddenly they are all about getting it done as quickly as possible.

Do not put any significance on this!

I haven't replied about the dinner yet. It does seem odd to me that in the last two weeks she has asked that we do Easter together and now my son's birthday.

"I've thought about it and it is probably better to do our own things for Easter and S's birthday. Let's work out an arrangement that we both can agree to. This is what I am thinking:" then out line your idea. Simple. To the point. And gets you to a better place not only now, but also for future.

I went out to dinner with a friend last night and had a great time. He is about two years ahead of me on the same affair/divorce path. Its always interesting talking to him as he is also about 5 years older and has perspectives on this next phase of life. He's been dating a woman for about a year and it was interesting to hear about. Anyhow it was a great time.

Tonight our neighborhood is doing a progressive dinner and they are finishing at my house, so I have to ramp my place up to get it ready for a good time. Unfortunately its going to be a little cold out, but I'll get the music, darts, ping pong, and projector with the basketball going. Should be fun.

Keep up the great GAL!!!