Trying to heal from WW - part 2

[LH19]

She probably did have an agenda but i had no idea what. I don't think anything started before BD but i might be wrong.

I would bet my savings you were wrong.

Don't think she meant dating other guys, we both said we don't want to see anyone else and we would stay together and try long distance but as dating.

If I had a nickel for every time I read this statement on here I would be retired. People separate to sleep with other people. Plain and simple.

It was stupid of me to agree, was trying to cling to any hope i could get at that stage but i realise now it was all lies.

Yep.

A few months after i asked her what happened to us dating like we agreed and she said she basically changed her mind because she was too hurt.

Standard WW BS.

It makes sense, i can see now that now that she was just thinking about herself.

Your W is really young to be this selfish. She is not a very good person.

She basically said a few times around the time she left how she just wants to be selfish and think about herself, started a few months before actually.

See my comments above.

She became very selfish near the end and didn't want to try work on anything, basically said its my turn and i was fighting a losing battle.

For once she was being honest with you.

I can see that it is pursuit and you are right that it wont really change anything if she admitted it. If she did tell me the truth it would be one less lie i guess. I'm just so sick of being gaslighted by this woman, she always made me think i was crazy for how i felt or what i suspected.

So now you know. What has this changed in your mind? You still love and want to work it out? Do you think she is capable of change? What would be different?

It was quite a shock, she also lied to me about how many sexual partners she had before me when she admitted to cheating years ago before we were married.

So Ace this is where your beliefs and values come into play. Do you want to be with a trampy liar?

My whole perspective started changing and that's when i became jealous and more controlling because i felt like i didn't know who she was or how much else she has lied about.

Ok so she lies and you become more jealous and controlling. Do you see the flaw here?

99.9% of the suffering on this board is because the LBS is in love with the fantasy of the person they want their WS to be and are not capable of being right now.