One foot in front of the other

[Elbereth]

For me in the end, standing up for myself meant telling him that I did not want a divorce, I believed that we could have a happy future together if we were both committed to it, but I also would not allow him to treat me like a roommate, etc. That the way he was treating me was not acceptable.

In the end, I told him if he wanted this divorce so much he could file for it, and that's what ended up happening. But where I live, with the process we chose, it doesn't matter who does the filing.

Yeah, I have a lawyer and he's been pushing me to file from day one even though I started out doing exactly what you said. However, my H has not served me D papers yet, and has been dragging, and while that has been going on, more secrets, spending etc. So I have made the decision to file only to protect myself. It doesn't matter who does it first in my state either. But the longer I put it off, the more of the assets he is using for his A and crises, and the more that I also end up paying for...as it's a 50/50 no fault state.

Thank you for your kind words. It is such an individual thing. I truly wanted to force him to file. And have him be responsible for what has happened and the consequences, but I just can't put myself at that level of financial risk, as this is my second divorce and we were already not in the best financial state.

xo