Following up from my other post

[sandi2]

Yesterday I realized that I really must move on, move forward. I was having difficulty with letting go of hope (and to be honest I still do have some) and I'm seeing how it clouds my need to imagine a new future as well as healing my heart.

Is it "hope" you have trouble letting go, or is it her? I suggest you place your hope in another field or direction, rather than your WW. Try this........instead of dwelling on hope for reconciliation, or if you struggle giving up that particular hope, tell yourself "It is what it is, and I'm moving on with my life". You can't fix her or force a R, so stop giving it so many of your brain cells. It is what it is, and you can't change it, so move on. I think some people have to stop labeling it as giving up hope, b/c it messes with their head too much. Redirect your hope toward you, and the areas you want to develop in your life. Take this time while you are alone to enjoy the things you couldn't do as a couple, or b/c she didn't like the same things.

1) Let go, respect her and her decision.

That doesn't mean you have to like or agree with the decisions she makes. Understand? You leave her alone and let her deal with the decisions she's made. You don't run to her rescue, or try to arrange a closer relationship between her and the child, give her advice, pressure her, or get involved in her drama.

The first is hard for me, I just don't know how to let go of being in love with her AND when I see her AND when she send me text messages outside of picture of our daughter like this morning I get so confused:

First of all, you must read No More Mr. Nice Guy, b/c you will not understand why you do the things you do until you read that book. And, you won't understand what we mean when refer to NGS. Second, you must continue therapy. Not for your M problems, but for whatever happened when you were a kid that makes you afraid of losing connection with a person, and whatever other issues exist due to it. As for not knowing how to let go of being in love, I'll tell you this much. Time has a way of helping us get over loving someone that didn't love us back or love us enough. Created distance isn't just about being miles apart physically, but in thought and through little or no contact. With a child, you will need to have some contact with her mother, but IMHO, it is currently too much. Stop checking social media to see her or to see if she "likes" anything about you. That's nothing but a game that you'll never win as long as she has this avenue of power over you. GAL is the most common advice successful LBS's give readers. All of these things require your cooperation. You have to help yourself.

The part about her traveling more often and allowing her to take my daughter for long extended periods of time hurts (missing my daughter) AND I'm willing to do it because I care about the connection between her mom and my daughter AND I'm hoping she sees this as a positive thing and that gets reflected on to me AND she sees how I value family.

This is exactly what NGS is all about. You are willing to give up valuable time with your child, in hopes it will have a positive influence on how your WW sees you.......thus, hopefully (again), change her current feelings for you. Let me tell you something. She will not appreciate your sacrifice, and it could harm your relationship with your child. Once you allow your WW to take part of your allotted time for the child, then she'll expect it in the future. You are dealing with a selfish, spoiled, self entitled, wayward woman. She could care less how much you value family. You cannot nice her back into your arms!!! You could give up everything you have for her, and it still would not change her heart. And just for the record, giving up parental time with your child does not prove how much you value family.